"Have You Lost Weight?"

I think that during this journey it is extremely important to be as honest as I can be. I have realized that, at this point, I cannot eat 1500 mg a day. There are a number of reasons:

• It's flipping hard.
• I want to have something to change if and when I plateau again.
• If I keep struggling to stay at 1500 and keep failing and/or barely making it, I'm going to get frustrated /give up. I will do much better by getting to 1500 gradually.

Now, I know that the first reason is not a valid reason. Of course it's hard! That doesn't count. But I really do feel that tapering is best for me. Because I will plateau again. So far, this week has been really hard. I had a crazy Monday night when I ate a drumstick from KFC. Now, I don't like fried chicken from restaurants. I think it's awful. Kalem had a few leftover pieces from the place and after he heated them up, I took a small piece of skin. It was INCREDIBLE. I hadn't had something so salt-concentrated in months. It was delicious. I asked Kalem for a bite and ended up eating the whole drumstick. I couldn't even stop myself. Ten seconds later I was so upset with myself. Still, with this "binge", I did okay. I went over yesterday by about 10 mg. I haven't gone over today, but I still have yet to eat dinner after I work out. So, I'll be glad to have more wiggle room. It's funny, I used to think that 2300 mg was hard, but now it seems like a smorgasbord! For now, I'm going to eat 2300 mg. When I plateau again, I'll do down another 100 mg.

I've gotten two whole compliments this week from two volunteers at work. Hot dang! I really needed them after my ridiculous weigh-in last Friday. As much as I thrive on the support and well wishes of my family, I really get a lot out of encouragement from those I know don't feel compelled to say it. I LOVE IT. It's such a motivator.

A friend of mine is having lap band surgery today. We've talked about us both having it and what we were both thinking about it. In the end, I will not be having it. Yesterday, we talked about how nervous she was feeling about it. I hope that it goes well. I'm sure it will. I'm grateful that I did not make the choice to have it. I think it may work for some people, but it wouldn't have for me. I need to learn how to make healthy choices and how to get healthy on my own.

I'm really going to start more weight loss journaling soon. Now that I've finished the biggest school assignment of the semester, I'll have a bit more freedom to.