Slow and Steady

Today, I went to lunch at Qdoba. I was having a crazy day at home and had no time to grab anything more nutritious. Plus, it had been weeks since I had been there. So, I ordered a vegetarian taco salad and dug in. I was hungry when began. I ate until I felt full. And continued to eat. And eat. And eat, until it was gone. I was stuffed. After finishing, I took my quick, customary 15-minute lunch break walk and it was incredibly uncomfortable. I was so full and yucky-feeling.

I went to the forum for some support. I read a great thread in the Bare Bones Basics section and feel really comforted and secure in the fact that, for right now, I need to keep it as simple as possible. For now I will focus on what I said at the beginning: eating what I want when I'm hungry and stopping when I am full. At this point, I feel like I can't focus on anything else. I'm not even close to mastering this!

I'm seriously contemplating taking some time away from eating fast food. I don't oarticularly like fast food, but I find myself eating it more than I like. I love home-cooked food and take pleasure in eating leftovers. I just have to be better about preparing food. Normally I do this well, but work has been just bonkers lately. I am such a "Waste Not" eater. I hate the idea of letting food go to waste, especially given that we work so hard to afford it! I'm confused as to whether this is the diet mentality kicking in or a helpful way to learn to focus on my hunger and fullness. I've asked for some advice and hope to get some guidance soon.

I am feeling really calm about this. I know that I've eaten non-intuitively for many years and it's going to take some significant time to learn not to.

I've been doing rather well! I've decided not to begin running for now. For sure, I plan to wait until I get a little fitter and I feel more comfortable doing high-impact exercise. If I ever do--I love low-impact workouts and believe one can be healthy and fit without bouncing all over the place. I can't wait until I am out of school and have time to start belly dancing again. I absolutely adored it. I want to learn tap, too. For now, I've been lifting weights and walking. I feel really good about getting active. I've also been taking more care in my appearance and making sure to wear clothing that makes me feel good about my body. It's remarkable how much that's positively affected my attitude. It's time to stop saying, "When I'm thin, I'll...". I have to live now. My weight should never get in the way.

Today, Kalem and I sat down to dinner at the table and didn't talk much. We were very focused on our food. And, get this--we stopped when we were full! Hot dang! It felt great! I hope we soon learn how to do this and still have great dinner conversation! :)

I received my "Clearing Emotional Blocks" CD and will be posting a review soon!

Shopping Trip

Today, Kalem and I went grocery shopping for the first time since we started Intuitive Eating. It was a much different (and better) experience than what we've had in at least five years! It was remarkable to walk through the aisles and pick what we thought would taste good without my spending time poring over the labels. There were a good many things that we got that I was excited about, but I was most thrilled about buying cream of mushroom soup and gravy mixes. I used to use these regularly in my cooking--I love rice and gravy! I haven't had it in many, many months because of my low-sodium diet. Now I am thrilled to enjoy brown rice and gravy to my heart's content! What was really cool about our trip was my honey saying, "Even though it seems like we overspent today because we're so excited to eat normally again, the food will last so much longer because we're only eating when we're hungry". Bingo! I'm so thrilled that we're both so committed to this new life.

I had a bit of fear creep in again about gaining weight because I'm going to be eating foods I may not have had in our home in what seems like forever. However, I told myself again that this is part of the process. I am now learning the tools to eat what I like without overeating. It feels lovely. I'm glad to be learning to listen to my body and eat in a much saner way.