Today, I went to lunch at Qdoba. I was having a crazy day at home and had no time to grab anything more nutritious. Plus, it had been weeks since I had been there. So, I ordered a vegetarian taco salad and dug in. I was hungry when began. I ate until I felt full. And continued to eat. And eat. And eat, until it was gone. I was stuffed. After finishing, I took my quick, customary 15-minute lunch break walk and it was incredibly uncomfortable. I was so full and yucky-feeling.
I went to the forum for some support. I read a great thread in the Bare Bones Basics section and feel really comforted and secure in the fact that, for right now, I need to keep it as simple as possible. For now I will focus on what I said at the beginning: eating what I want when I'm hungry and stopping when I am full. At this point, I feel like I can't focus on anything else. I'm not even close to mastering this!
I'm seriously contemplating taking some time away from eating fast food. I don't oarticularly like fast food, but I find myself eating it more than I like. I love home-cooked food and take pleasure in eating leftovers. I just have to be better about preparing food. Normally I do this well, but work has been just bonkers lately. I am such a "Waste Not" eater. I hate the idea of letting food go to waste, especially given that we work so hard to afford it! I'm confused as to whether this is the diet mentality kicking in or a helpful way to learn to focus on my hunger and fullness. I've asked for some advice and hope to get some guidance soon.
I am feeling really calm about this. I know that I've eaten non-intuitively for many years and it's going to take some significant time to learn not to.
I've been doing rather well! I've decided not to begin running for now. For sure, I plan to wait until I get a little fitter and I feel more comfortable doing high-impact exercise. If I ever do--I love low-impact workouts and believe one can be healthy and fit without bouncing all over the place. I can't wait until I am out of school and have time to start belly dancing again. I absolutely adored it. I want to learn tap, too. For now, I've been lifting weights and walking. I feel really good about getting active. I've also been taking more care in my appearance and making sure to wear clothing that makes me feel good about my body. It's remarkable how much that's positively affected my attitude. It's time to stop saying, "When I'm thin, I'll...". I have to live now. My weight should never get in the way.
Today, Kalem and I sat down to dinner at the table and didn't talk much. We were very focused on our food. And, get this--we stopped when we were full! Hot dang! It felt great! I hope we soon learn how to do this and still have great dinner conversation! :)
I received my "Clearing Emotional Blocks" CD and will be posting a review soon!
Showing posts with label Hubby-Hoo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hubby-Hoo. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Shopping Trip
Today, Kalem and I went grocery shopping for the first time since we started Intuitive Eating. It was a much different (and better) experience than what we've had in at least five years! It was remarkable to walk through the aisles and pick what we thought would taste good without my spending time poring over the labels. There were a good many things that we got that I was excited about, but I was most thrilled about buying cream of mushroom soup and gravy mixes. I used to use these regularly in my cooking--I love rice and gravy! I haven't had it in many, many months because of my low-sodium diet. Now I am thrilled to enjoy brown rice and gravy to my heart's content! What was really cool about our trip was my honey saying, "Even though it seems like we overspent today because we're so excited to eat normally again, the food will last so much longer because we're only eating when we're hungry". Bingo! I'm so thrilled that we're both so committed to this new life.
I had a bit of fear creep in again about gaining weight because I'm going to be eating foods I may not have had in our home in what seems like forever. However, I told myself again that this is part of the process. I am now learning the tools to eat what I like without overeating. It feels lovely. I'm glad to be learning to listen to my body and eat in a much saner way.
I had a bit of fear creep in again about gaining weight because I'm going to be eating foods I may not have had in our home in what seems like forever. However, I told myself again that this is part of the process. I am now learning the tools to eat what I like without overeating. It feels lovely. I'm glad to be learning to listen to my body and eat in a much saner way.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Another Tool for the Kit
I've had a rather interesting eating pattern for the past few days. I've started off doing well with only eating when I was hungry at the beginning of the day. Then, I've ended up eating just because I'm so used to eating at certain times? Was I hungry? No. But I felt I had to eat because it was time.
So, what does this teach me? That I really need to continuously ask myself if I'm hungry and only eat when I am. I'm not frustrated with myself at all--I'm just interested in learning to use each instance of overeating as an opportunity for growth.
I've also felt somewhat emotional today. I started off my day quite well. I read another blogger's site that led me to really question using hypnosis as a healing tool during part of my journey with Intuitive Eating. I was initially really hesitant--it's nothing I've really thought about.
I am doing some deep reflection about some issues going on with my job; there's a chance of something happening that could cause really big changes for me. I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up because there's a real chance it won't happen. As I was thinking about this, I ended up overeating. I was anxious, so I ate. I took a walk during my lunch break and that really helped. Then I had a two-hour meeting that had popcorn and chocolate and I ate even though I wasn't hungry. I wasn't hungry, but I was bored and ready to end my work day, and I ate when not hungry.
I did a lot of reading on the IE forum about using hypnosis. Jennifer Poole, the hypnotherapist who crafted the hypnosis tools that are recommended, was gracious enough to allay some of my fears and answer some of my questions. She also directed me to a wonderful article about hypnosis by the Mayo Clinic.
Still, I felt hesitant. Because I love lists, I explored the pros and cons of trying this method out. I've decided to give it a try. There were a number of reasons I was against it, but I worked through them:
So, what does this teach me? That I really need to continuously ask myself if I'm hungry and only eat when I am. I'm not frustrated with myself at all--I'm just interested in learning to use each instance of overeating as an opportunity for growth.
I've also felt somewhat emotional today. I started off my day quite well. I read another blogger's site that led me to really question using hypnosis as a healing tool during part of my journey with Intuitive Eating. I was initially really hesitant--it's nothing I've really thought about.
I am doing some deep reflection about some issues going on with my job; there's a chance of something happening that could cause really big changes for me. I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up because there's a real chance it won't happen. As I was thinking about this, I ended up overeating. I was anxious, so I ate. I took a walk during my lunch break and that really helped. Then I had a two-hour meeting that had popcorn and chocolate and I ate even though I wasn't hungry. I wasn't hungry, but I was bored and ready to end my work day, and I ate when not hungry.
I did a lot of reading on the IE forum about using hypnosis. Jennifer Poole, the hypnotherapist who crafted the hypnosis tools that are recommended, was gracious enough to allay some of my fears and answer some of my questions. She also directed me to a wonderful article about hypnosis by the Mayo Clinic.
Still, I felt hesitant. Because I love lists, I explored the pros and cons of trying this method out. I've decided to give it a try. There were a number of reasons I was against it, but I worked through them:
- I don't want to pay this much for a CD! I looked in our study at all of the diet books and materials I own (I know I need to get rid of them, but I plan to take them to Half-Price Books to get credit for books I'll enjoy!). Also, Kalem spends tons on video games. I won't make us bankrupt by spending this money!
- I don't know if this will work for me. What's the harm in trying?! In my "previous life", if I had been told I'd lose 100 pounds by doing this, I'd have paid any amount of money. I'm trying to be a healthy, calm, happy Intuitive Eater now. If this helps, I'm willing to try!
- I'm afraid of the feelings that might be dredged up. Let the feelings come. I've stuffed them down with food too many times. It's time to release the angst within.
- Kalem fusses when I read in bed. Won't he fuss with this?! I can go to the bedroom early to do this and still be able to talk with my hubby before going to bed. Most of the time he falls asleep so quickly he won't notice anyway. He'll be fine. :).
- My parents are going to think I'm even more "hippy-dippy". They don't even know I've started IE yet! I'm an adult. Maybe my parents will want to try it one day!
So, I'm doing it! On her website, Ms. Poole suggests that one does the "Clearing Emotional Blocks" meditation for at least a month before beginning the "Intuitive Eating for Weight Release" CD. I have ordered the first CD and am eagerly awaiting its arrival. I've decided to wait to order the second CD to ensure that I give myself as much time as I need with this meditation (I know that I feel most excited about the second CD right now!).
On another note, I've been exercising daily and feel really great about it. I'm reminding myself that it's about how my body feels because of it and it really helps. I love how flexible and alert I feel now that I'm moving my body regularly. I'm going to start implementing weight lifting soon and am looking forward to strengthening my upper body as well! I'm still reading the IE book and making good progress. I also got the CD to listen to at a later date. I'm loving this journey!
Monday, August 3, 2009
IE's The Life For Me!
Sigh. Okay. I've been writing this entry in my head since Friday, but have only found the courage to do so now. A few days ago, I wrote an entry in which I asked whether I should be focusing on something other than weight loss. I questioned if I would lose my mind living like this the rest of my life.
The next morning I woke up and had an answer for myself. I don't want to be counting calories (or sodium or carbs) for the rest of my life. I want to be healthy, no doubt, but I want to not worry about this forever. I was done with dieting.
I had heard of Intuitive Eating before. I took the book out a few months ago and read some of it. I wasn't ready at the time. I remember reading the first few chapters and saying, "I'm going to do this after I lose all of the weight. I want to be thin before I start this lifestyle." Ha! I now know that that was really faulty thinking.
So, I've made the resolution to never diet again. It's liberating as well as incredibly terrifying. I've been on a diet for at least the last 10 years! I'm scared to not be trying to be thin. But I'm so ready for this.
Kalem will be doing this with me as well. We feel really ready for this change in our lives. Maybe we will lose weight, maybe we won't. But we're (mostly, I'm) tired of the constant battle with food and weight.
The reason that I was so hesitant to write this entry was because I was sad that there's a real chance I'll lose the support of bloggers I've really come to lean on and appreciate in the last month or so. I'll still support others, but I truly don't believe that dieting works. I don't want to criticize what others are doing and/or what's working for them. So, we'll see how that changes this blog.
A good change, though, is that Kalem will be blogging here, too!
At this point, I'm doing the bare basics: eating what I want when I'm hungry and stopping when I no longer am. I'm reading through "the book" all the way through and then will go back and work through each principle at a much slower pace. I'll continue to write as I do so. I've already got an entry brewing in my head!
I wish all of my readers complete success in their health endeavours. I'm really excited about this process.
The next morning I woke up and had an answer for myself. I don't want to be counting calories (or sodium or carbs) for the rest of my life. I want to be healthy, no doubt, but I want to not worry about this forever. I was done with dieting.
I had heard of Intuitive Eating before. I took the book out a few months ago and read some of it. I wasn't ready at the time. I remember reading the first few chapters and saying, "I'm going to do this after I lose all of the weight. I want to be thin before I start this lifestyle." Ha! I now know that that was really faulty thinking.
So, I've made the resolution to never diet again. It's liberating as well as incredibly terrifying. I've been on a diet for at least the last 10 years! I'm scared to not be trying to be thin. But I'm so ready for this.
Kalem will be doing this with me as well. We feel really ready for this change in our lives. Maybe we will lose weight, maybe we won't. But we're (mostly, I'm) tired of the constant battle with food and weight.
The reason that I was so hesitant to write this entry was because I was sad that there's a real chance I'll lose the support of bloggers I've really come to lean on and appreciate in the last month or so. I'll still support others, but I truly don't believe that dieting works. I don't want to criticize what others are doing and/or what's working for them. So, we'll see how that changes this blog.
A good change, though, is that Kalem will be blogging here, too!
At this point, I'm doing the bare basics: eating what I want when I'm hungry and stopping when I no longer am. I'm reading through "the book" all the way through and then will go back and work through each principle at a much slower pace. I'll continue to write as I do so. I've already got an entry brewing in my head!
I wish all of my readers complete success in their health endeavours. I'm really excited about this process.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Food is Not My Friend
I'm sad. My dad's having health problems and the DH and I are on the outs. I want someone to talk to, but who do I turn to when I feel like my best friend can't listen to me? I want to just crawl under my blankets with a dozen cookies.
I'm telling myself that I DON'T need to do that. The hubs and I will probably be fine by the end of the night--we just haven't had enough time today to hash things out. My dad's test results don't come back until Monday, so I don't need to eat like a crazy person worrying about something that might not even be a problem. He's going to be fine! I have great friends who will answer my phone call and listen to me gripe and get me back to feeling good. I have a fantastic weight loss coach (the bestest mommy in the world) who will talk me down from the ledge if I just call her up. I don't need to eat my feelings.
Anyway, as a way to get past it, I'm writing on another ezine article by Linda Spangle titled "Food as Comfort" (how fitting!). Food has served as comfort in a number of ways during my life. Food has consoled me during times of hurting and sadness. It has dulled my senses when I've felt that the emotions were too much to bear. It has been my date on Friday nights (even when I had a great boyfriend). It's been a prize for a good job. It's been my friend. One of my best friends.
Sometimes I feel afraid that once I really get past eating emotionally, I'll have to start feeling everything. I tell my clients to, instead of trying to stuff it down with food or sex or drugs/alcohol or anything else, to just feel it. Once it's felt, you can learn what to do about it. I'm learning how to do that myself.
Right now, I'm eating a homemade trail mix with dried cranberries, soy nuts, and almonds. I think it's a good step away from Oreos.
I'm telling myself that I DON'T need to do that. The hubs and I will probably be fine by the end of the night--we just haven't had enough time today to hash things out. My dad's test results don't come back until Monday, so I don't need to eat like a crazy person worrying about something that might not even be a problem. He's going to be fine! I have great friends who will answer my phone call and listen to me gripe and get me back to feeling good. I have a fantastic weight loss coach (the bestest mommy in the world) who will talk me down from the ledge if I just call her up. I don't need to eat my feelings.
Anyway, as a way to get past it, I'm writing on another ezine article by Linda Spangle titled "Food as Comfort" (how fitting!). Food has served as comfort in a number of ways during my life. Food has consoled me during times of hurting and sadness. It has dulled my senses when I've felt that the emotions were too much to bear. It has been my date on Friday nights (even when I had a great boyfriend). It's been a prize for a good job. It's been my friend. One of my best friends.
Sometimes I feel afraid that once I really get past eating emotionally, I'll have to start feeling everything. I tell my clients to, instead of trying to stuff it down with food or sex or drugs/alcohol or anything else, to just feel it. Once it's felt, you can learn what to do about it. I'm learning how to do that myself.
Right now, I'm eating a homemade trail mix with dried cranberries, soy nuts, and almonds. I think it's a good step away from Oreos.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Re-Motivated
As you know from my last entry, I had a crazy time on Friday night that involved lots of Mexican food and ice cream. I was upset with myself, but told myself not to let it get to me and to keep pushing forward. I was really proud of myself for staying resolved.
Yesterday, I did well for most of the day. I worked out and ate well. However, we had company last night and had a really fun game night...that included pizza, cookies, and Cheetos. I didn't eat a crazy amount of food, but definitely more than I should have. All in all, it was a really fun night with really great company.
Sigh...well, I weighed in this morning and gained two pounds. Back to my favorite 262! But I did lose .75 more inches off of my body! I'm not even that frustrated by my weigh-in, since I did overeat the last two days before my weigh-in.
Now, I'm even more motivated to get back on track! I'm trying something new--working out daily (rather than doing all of my hours mostly on the weekend because of my busy schedule) and lowering the amount of sodium I consume (to 1500 mg rather than 2300). Also, I purchased the Beck Diet Solution Workbook and started it today. I have a lot of faith in Cognitive Therapy (as well as CBT), so I really have hope that this will work for me. It's full of list-making, so I'm really pleased about that, too.
So, I don't have awesome news, but I'm not sweating it. I have learned valuable lessons--don't eat out without first checking the nutrition facts and make sure to have healthy snacks available in social situations. I'm ready for a new week and a new opportunity to improve my health.
On another great note, yesterday DH told me he thought we should start working out together. I told him it was a great idea(!). I'm not going to push it and just wait and see if he mentions it again. I'm a bit miffed with him (not really, but I was for a minute this morning!) because he weighed himself and had lost six pounds with no effort whatsoever. Ugh. Boys stink. :). Just kidding--I'm only jealous!
running
Yesterday, I did well for most of the day. I worked out and ate well. However, we had company last night and had a really fun game night...that included pizza, cookies, and Cheetos. I didn't eat a crazy amount of food, but definitely more than I should have. All in all, it was a really fun night with really great company.
Sigh...well, I weighed in this morning and gained two pounds. Back to my favorite 262! But I did lose .75 more inches off of my body! I'm not even that frustrated by my weigh-in, since I did overeat the last two days before my weigh-in.
Now, I'm even more motivated to get back on track! I'm trying something new--working out daily (rather than doing all of my hours mostly on the weekend because of my busy schedule) and lowering the amount of sodium I consume (to 1500 mg rather than 2300). Also, I purchased the Beck Diet Solution Workbook and started it today. I have a lot of faith in Cognitive Therapy (as well as CBT), so I really have hope that this will work for me. It's full of list-making, so I'm really pleased about that, too.
So, I don't have awesome news, but I'm not sweating it. I have learned valuable lessons--don't eat out without first checking the nutrition facts and make sure to have healthy snacks available in social situations. I'm ready for a new week and a new opportunity to improve my health.
On another great note, yesterday DH told me he thought we should start working out together. I told him it was a great idea(!). I'm not going to push it and just wait and see if he mentions it again. I'm a bit miffed with him (not really, but I was for a minute this morning!) because he weighed himself and had lost six pounds with no effort whatsoever. Ugh. Boys stink. :). Just kidding--I'm only jealous!
running
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