Poor Poor Pitiful Fat Girl

Be aware, this is a rant-filled entry! Also, I'll use the word fat, but it's not in a derogatory way. And trust me, I'm including myself in this group!

Last night, "More to Love" premiered on Fox. It's touted as a dating show for the "rest of us". I knew I would hate this show. I was prepared to hate it. So, when it came on, I sat down and prepared to be mad.

And boy, was I.

I live to make lists, so here are my rants about the show:

• The dude. The bachelor is a bigger guy--he's 6'3" and over 300 pounds. I think that people find love in all shapes and sizes. WHY can't these ladies find love with the type of guys seen on other dating shows? Can big girls not get guys with hot abs?!
• The weights. Some of these gals are flipping gorgeous. They all were wearing gorgeous dresses and looked lovely. But any time one of the women is speaking to the camera, her weight is shown on the screen! What in the world?! You don't see that on other dating shows!
• The obvious sadness. A number of these women were shown crying over how their weight has affected their not finding love. Um, what? I'm a fat woman who found love. If there are guys or ladies not giving these women attention because of their size, they're not right for them anyway! I'm not going to pretend that my size didn't affect who I dated when I was younger. We all have types. Let's not deny that. I just hate that they have to capitalize on these ladies' pain. We know that thinner people get more attention. Does there have to be a dating show to remind us?
• The host. Why does she have to be a bigger woman, too?! Are skinny people afraid to come anywhere near this show?!
• PROM. At the end of the show, we were told there was going to be a prom episode. You've got to be kidding me. Fat girls go to prom. Fat girls have sex. Fat girls look fabulous in prom gowns. It's insulting to insinuate that each woman needs to have a "real" prom...which isn't all that real when all of them have the same date! I'm not going to continue to compare my life to this, but I went to prom. I had a date for every fancy event in HS but one and that was by choice. I had lovers. I rock a pair of high heels. Don't give me that.
• Worthiness. These women are worthy of love. A dating show is never someone's last chance. My heart ached for these women. But I was also upset by even more perpetuating of societal messages that people over a certain weight do not derserve love and affection and friendship. I'm wondering what we're supposed to feel as we watch this.

There was something good about the show that I really liked. One of the women said that she takes care of her body but just doesn't happen to be a size 4. Word! I think that as long as one is really working hard at being healthy--eating well and exercising, who cares if she's not a skinny minny?! Why should we buy into society's image of beauty? Down with sizism! I'm actually starting to question why I'm so intent on getting to a certain weight. Shouldn't my focus be health more than anything? What does everyone think? How different would people feel about themselves if they ate what they were supposed to and exercised daily without being slaves to the scales? Would we love ourselves more? Would we stop caring so much what society thinks? More to the point, would I be more willing to wear a bathing suit?

So, long story short, this show is a bunch of crap. I don't know if I'll watch it again, because it makes me SO MAD. But it's definitely got me thinking.

Some other sites I've come across that have something to say about this ridiculous show:

http://www.feministing.com/archives/016946.html

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-07-27/really-big-love/full/

http://shrinkingsharon.blogspot.com/2009/07/fat-bachelor.html