"And I realized...this wasn't a way to live. This was a way to die." (28 Days)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Getting on Track

The first day's topic is "I Used to Be That Way":
  • I fear that I will fall off of the wagon and never lose the weight I want to.
  • When on diets before, I let myself get discouraged when I overate or didn't exercise one day.
  • I used to be that way, but now I'm different.
  • I used to take the elevator at work, but now I take the stairs.
  • I used to let my emotions influence my diet, but now I deal with my feelings in healthy, active ways.
  • I used to dread having to exercise every day, but now I look forward to my workout time as a time to improve my life.
  • I used to eat every free food put in front of me, but now I think about what goes into my mouth, regardless of the price.
  • I used to eat whatever I like, but now I watch my intake.
  • I used to get easily discouraged, but now I keep pressing on.
  • I used to eat without thinking, but now I am a mindful eater.
  • I used to eat like an obese person, but now I eat like a fit, healthy woman.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

So Much Has Changed

Okay, so it's been quite some time since I last blogged. But I'm BACK! I am super recommitted and ready to get healthy.

When I last was "committed", my goal was on losing weight. I'm not going to pretend that it still isn't. But, I feel I'm doing something much more gentle. I will never just starve myself on a Thursday to stay withing my limit for a Friday weigh-in. On April 27, my mom and I talked about watching sodium for what felt like the umpteenth time. This time, though, everything just clicked. I really felt that I could do it this time. Instead of really committing to it, I said I'd try it for the week and see how it went. Well, I lost 3 pounds! I was hooked after that. I have been walking for 3.5 hours every week. I feel great! I had been doing the Jillian DVD as well, but I really hurt my knee after bouncing around one day. My knee is better now, though it still pops a lot.

It's been a lot harder watching sodium than I first expected. I mean, sodium is in everything! Everything! So it takes a lot to create meals on a daily basis. The good result of that is that now I appreciate my food so much more. I feel more satisfaction with what I put in my mouth because it took more work and organization to get it. I'm struggling with the lack of snack foods I have available to me, but I plan to buy an air popper to get through that.

As before, for the next 100 days, I'm going to be reading a book called "100 Days of Weight Loss". It will take me through exercises to help me work through my struggles with weight loss. I'm really determined and am sure that I will succeed. I started at 270 pounds. I'm down to 265 already! In two weeks! My goal is to weigh 150 pounds. This puts me in the "normal" category according to my BMI (well, it's a little bit below, but I thought it was a good, round number). It also gives me some wiggle room as I age--hopefully I never pass 175 in my life again! I will be weighing in every Friday. If I lose 2 pounds a week, I should reach 150 by June 23, 2010. If I lose 1 pound a week, I should reach 150 by August 17, 2011. I don't really plan on it happening, but I would loved to lose the weight by March 10, 2010. That way, I would hit my goal weight when I'm 25 (ha!). But it's okay if I don't make it--I won't let it get me down. It feels like a really long time, but I am committed to it. Also, I'm using http://www.thedailyplate.com/ to monitor my intake. It's a really cool website and I think it will be helpful! Well, one of the first exercises in the book are to write down a few reasons for losing the weight. I had to go all out (of course) and I have given a reason for every pound I want to lose. So, here are my 120 reasons for losing weight. (Well, I actually weigh 265, but I wrote these reasons when I weighed 270!)

My Reasons for Losing Weight!
1. To sweat less
2. To have healthier nails
3. To have healthier hair
4. To have better skin
5. To fit in amusement park ride seats
6. To fit in bus seats more easily
7. To fit in desks more easily
8. To fit in airplane seats more easily
9. To be able to take leisurely walks without getting winded
10. To develop a healthy addiction
11. To set (and reach) new goals
12. To not have to make the same New Year’s resolution every year (and fail)
13. To have a more successful career
14. To be able to better participate in sports
15. To explore new places
16. To smell better
17. To help others
18. To encourage others
19. To not have to worry about the maximum weight an exercise machine can take before I use it
20. To stop spending money on weight loss resources
21. To be able to indulge without feeling guilty
22. To have a better selection of clothes to choose from
23. To save money on food
24. To save money on clothes
25. To buy a new wardrobe
26. To learn to enjoy healthy, nutritious foods
27. To control my eating
28. To control my snacking
29. To control my emotional eating
30. To not embarrass myself when eating at social functions
31. To look better
32. To look younger
33. To feel sexier
34. To have better sex
35. To not have a double chin
36. To have thighs that don’t touch
37. To be able to wear a bikini
38. To have a flat stomach
39. To look great at my high school reunion
40. To look wonderful in my second wedding dress
41. To get smaller than my high school weight
42. To be able to fit into a size 12 (or smaller!)
43. To avoid health-related surgeries
44. To avoid weight-related surgeries
45. To find more positive outlets for emotions
46. To learn patience
47. To have a chance for "me time"
48. To actually get called "thin"
49. To not be controlled by my weight
50. To prove to myself I have self-control
51. To teach myself discipline
52. To have something that is done for myself by choice rather than requirement
53. To increase brainpower
54. To improve my performance
55. To be able to play with my nieces and nephews
56. To not end up like my father
57. To prevent depression
58. To feel more comfortable taking pictures
59. To be happy when I look in the mirror
60. To have breasts that stick out further than my stomach and not the other way around
61. To improve my body image
62. To feel more comfortable in my skin
63. To feel better about myself
64. To be less stressed
65. To sleep more soundly
66. To be healthier
67. To improve my immune system
68. To have more energy
69. To have a waist
70. To be more flexible
71. To have more stamina
72. To have better endurance
73. To improve mobility
74. To be stronger
75. To have a healthy lifestyle
76. To prevent knee problems
77. To prevent back problems
78. To have better control over IBS
79. To not be a part of the obesity epidemic
80. To prevent sleep apnea
81. To prevent hypertension
82. To prevent high cholesterol
83. To prevent osteoarthritis
84. To prevent stroke
85. To prevent heart attacks
86. To prevent heart disease
87. To prevent cancers
88. To prevent diabetes
89. Because it’s TIME. NO MORE EXCUSES.
90. To actually follow through with something
91. To show my loved ones how grateful I am for their support
92. To make my loved ones proud
93. To be proud of myself for making such a large accomplishment
94. To improve my quality of life
95. To live longer
96. To have healthier joints
97. To learn to enjoy exercise
98. To stop dieting FOR GOOD
99. To not be embarrassed by my size
100. To not have rolls, puckers, and dimples
101. To not always feel like I need to lose weight
102. To not have people cringe when I sit next to them on the bus
103. To be able to cross my legs
104. To prevent anxiety
105. To be able to take the stairs without getting winded
106. For all of the reasons I have yet to realize, but am sure to soon come to appreciate
107. To get on with my life!
108. To not get snide remarks about my weight from others
109. To be able to see my toes
110. To not get "fat girl" looks when I'm eating junk food
111. To put less stress on the environment
112. To be able to buy boots without trouble
113. To be able to wear backless dresses (if I decide to!)
114. To look good in photos
115. To not get asked if I'm pregnant when I'm not
116. To not get the "weight loss talk" when I go to the doctor
117. To not dread stepping on the scale
118. To have a regular-sized towel fit around my body
119. To have great legs again
120. To be able to go sleeveless comfortably

I feel really good about this. I know that I can make it this time. I'm really serious about losing the weight now. I'm so excited to be beginning this journey!