"And I realized...this wasn't a way to live. This was a way to die." (28 Days)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Catching Up

It's been a while since I've written, I know. I've been consistently trying to adhere to the principles of IE. Since I began, I've noticed some real changes. I'm really excited about it. I'm still reading the book, incredibly slowly (mostly because I've been reading really good fiction that I just can't put down!). Mostly I read it before I go to bed. I don't carry it out of the house because I'm not comfortable talking about it yet.

Since beginning IE, I've been doing all right at not eating when I'm not hungry. There are a few areas I have a LOT of work to do. I'm doing okay at only starting to eat when I'm hungry. I just can't seem to stop when I no longer am. Boy, am I a member of the Clean Plate Club! It's going to be difficult learning not to be! I either stop eating when there's nothing on my plate or I'm so full I feel sick (or both).

I've been working out regularly and it's been nice. Now that it's sleeveless season, I feel very aware that I need to work on my arms! I have very little upper body strength as compared to my lower and would love to work on that. I think doing so would help strengthen my core which i also feel would help with my upper back pain. In addition, I feel the very strong urge to start running again. I used to a few years ago and loved it! When I got hurt and lazy again, I just couldn't get the gumption to start again. I'd love to have that rush that running gave me again--no other workout has really done that for me again. I never lost any weight from running, but I did tone up quite a bit. I actually planned to run yesterday, but when I got up it was SO hot/humid (and it was only 8). Instead, I went for a walk with the hubby and dogs. I'm glad I did, because when we got home, we found out it was an Air Quality Action day (I don't really know what this means, but when they say it on the news, it means "move as little as possible because it's so hot you'll pass out if you do more than breathe"). By the time we got back into the car, we were covered in sweat and the dogs were half-asleep. It was a nice way to work out. We've talked about running, but we're so lazy! The thoughts of getting up early to run are just too much. I loved running in the winter with the snow crunching under my shoes. Hmm...okay, I've really psyched myself out for it now! I'm going to try to start up soon!

I'm struggling emotionally with something that I read on the IE forum. A very brave member stated that she had gained weight since starting this journey. The book also says that this can happen as well. I am terrified of gaining weight. I am really focused on this journey, but the thought of getting any bigger scares the bejesus out of me. What if I gain a lot? What if I go over 300 pounds? I'm trying my best to be patient, but I know that this will be my biggest struggle--just trusting the process. From the feel of my clothing, I'm at about the same weight now. I'm doing my best to be patient and understanding of my body.

Overall, though, I'm feeling good. I'm so glad that I made this change and look forward to seeing the peace it will give me.


Christie @ Quit Your Diet said...

HI Chavonne, I'm not sure which member you are talking about that gained weight but, I gained weight along my journey. I gained 40lbs but I actually attest that gain to the times I went back to dieting rather than because of IE. Now, I stand firm in my IE convictions and seem to be maintaining my weight and have been for about 8 months. So, for some, gaining is part of the process but don't be afraid of it. I am actually more confident and have higher self esteem now than I did 40lbs ago. I'm so much happier and so much more at peace with myself and who I am. I also have faith that if I keep listening to my body, my weight will end up wherever it needs to be.

You can do it!!

Chavonne said...

Hi, Christie,
I'm not sure which member it is, either! Even if I did, though, I wouldn't have said who it was. I read it more than once on the forum. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I'm trying really hard not to be afraid (okay, petrified). I'm trusting my body to end up where it should be.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Chavonne-
I have to confess that the idea of gaining weight is the most frightening aspect of IE to me. I've only been at it for a little over three weeks, and my pants still fit... although, I'm not sure they fit the same way. I'm doing my best not to weigh myself, but boy is it hard! I just wanted you to know that I'm right there with you with regard to this. I am also, thankfully, feeling optimistic that things will balance out.

Wishing you the best!

sharongracepjs said...

I'm excited for you! You're going to feel so strong and healthy and happy, once you're listening to your body and feeding it the best of the best!