So. When I first started running, I loved it. I lived for it (in addition to other things, of course). I would wake up in the morning and the first thing I would think was "it looks like a gorgeous day to run" or "it's not a good day to run outside". And, I would still run anyway. Lately, since I got hurt, really, I haven't had the "running mojo". If I get out there and run, I'm usually cranky about it. But, once the run is over, I'm glad I did it. I want that feeling again, where I couldn't wait to get out there and run. I loved that feeling! I miss it.
I am still running, but at larger intervals of time and not nearly as pleasant about it. I feel great after it's done. I just want to feel great about it before I leave. I have almost called this a failed attempt at a hobby at least 30 times in the last three weeks. But, I'm still forcing myself out there every once in a while. A few nights ago, Mom and I were on the phone and she said something to the effect of "well, you've been running a lot for a while now, so I'm sure you have gotten so much healthier". Ahem. I'm not sure when I will see my parents next, but after the phone call I told Kalem, "I really have to get in shape because my parents already believe I am doing so". Is that the motivation I should use?
Or it could be Surbhi. She is super intense about it and really dedicated. I told her I was thinking of backing out of the marathon and she said even if I walked the whole dang thing I was doing it with her. I feel bullied, but she's right. I committed to her and was so gung-ho that I made her promise to run it with me. That would suck for me to leave her by herself. So, I'll be there to run it with her, even if I am 5 miles behind her.
It could be myself. It SHOULD be myself. I have never followed through on any health thing ever. I need to keep myself focused on myself. Not myself as the individual parts--the more I think about how much my calves hurt, the less I am willing to get back out there again. I have to focus on myself as a person and the goals and dreams I had for myself.
This is a pointless blog, but it was a good pep talk for the run I have scheduled after work. Wish me luck! And dedication!
About Me
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- Chavonne
- The only thing constant in the world is change. That's why today I take life as it comes. (India.Arie)
2 comments:
You can do it, loveheart.
You definitely can do it! You HAVE done it, is the thing. Even if you don't run as regularly as you used to, life is like that, and you still get out there, and every little bit helps.
For me, I'm trying to get back into running (groan, we're going to try running in the mornings BEFORE work because when we wait until the evenings, it gives us 8 - 9 hours to psych ourselves out and come up with reasons not to... we'll see how this experiment goes) because I want to feel better about my body and to increase my energy levels. I feel like I keep sliding down the slacker slope and I often feel disheartened - it's hard & not how I would prefer to spend my time, and I want results right away - but I know that I just have to keep with it and I will be rewarded. You will too... Remember, better health doesn't just reflect itself in the size you wear (who cares about sizes anyway? No one else sees them! It's just about you feeling comfortable in your own skin and your clothes), but also in being able to walk up stairs without being winded, or increasing the length of your life! Ultimately, you are doing this for yourself, BUT it never hurts to have other people and factors motivating you along the way. ;) I am refusing to buy new jeans (even though my current pair (that's right, I'm down to one that I can "comfortably" wear) is tight) until I can fit into my old ones again. Things are getting desperate now, but I'm just stingy enough that I am determined to be on that treadmill every other day, even if I'm just walking.
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