"And I realized...this wasn't a way to live. This was a way to die." (28 Days)


Friday, July 24, 2009

Binge

Oh, crap.

Crap crap crap.

Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

My parents are extremely spiritual, so out of respect for them and on the off-off-off chance that they'll read my blog one day, I don' t swear on my blog. But trust me, I said some pretty bad words before I wrote this.

I had a great day, diet-wise today. I even picked up a new workout DVD from the library (Turbo Jam Lower Body workout--SO excited!). After work, Kalem and I decided to go out to dinner to mellow out after a long, stressful workweek. We went to Don Pablo's and I quickly LOST MY HEAD. I ate everything in sight. I had chips and queso/salsa/guacamole/sour cream and then a cheese enchilada, beef taco, a flauta, refried beans, and rice. It was pretty darn good, too. But I could feel the overload of calories, fat, and sodium. I couldn't stop myself! Well, I could have, but I didn't. I was so mad at myself.

After dinner, I said, "Well, screw it, I already messed up. Might as well go all out for the night." I've had a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream and a chicken quesadilla. Ugh. I'm so mad at myself.

I know that I won't let this affect me tomorrow, but I'm so frustrated. My weigh-in will be disastrous. I feel like I'll never get to my weight goal. :(.

I'm going to try to do an extra workout tomorrow and do some reflection about what leads me to go crazy like this. I'm so eager to be much more strict on myself in order to lose weight faster, but I'm trying my best to be patient.

I'd love anyone's tips on how they avoid having crazy eating binges when they're feeling happy/sad/tired/alive/stressed/blah blah blah. I need all of the help I can get.

4 comments:

Fatina George said...

I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet on Tuesday. What was I thinking???? I loaded up on bread and all the food was dripping with oil.

When I came home I was like "screw it" but DH said I should be good and have some zero point foods. I had pizza, and it was freezer burned, but I ate less than I would have because of him.

I thought it was the end for me but today is my weigh-in and I am still down 1.7lbs. I am glad I didn't give up (and I had splurged Sunday, too). You can recover from this.

That "I messed up anyway" attitude is KILLER!!! Every bite does count - it's not as if there is some point of no return. The best thought is, "It's ok - this could have been worse, I can recover if I stop now. I will have some ice cream tomorrow when I have behaved myself."

I remember watching some food show and it they pointed out the small things you can cut out and lose a pound a week. (I often think, 'What's 250 calories in the grand scheme of things?' but every day that's half a pound in a week.

I read something awful about chips at restaurants. Next time, even if you are going to splurge, if you had skipped the chips and the after dinner ice cream and quesadilla - you would not have been in that bad of shape.

You can do this. It's hard. Don't give up - it is so worth it.

It's a tough balance - knowing that every little bit counts will help avoid the post-binge binges, but the same thought can weigh you down with guilt.

Chavonne said...

Thanks, FG! Fortunately, I didn't actually have the quesadilla--when I wrote the entry I planned to, but was too full. :).

sharongracepjs said...

Ugh I know that feeling. Stupid Mexican food with your colors and textures and aromas and piles of cheese!

Here's something to notice, though:

"I couldn't stop myself! Well, I could have, but I didn't. "

That's big! YOU are in control! Maybe you're disappointed with the decisions you made this time, but remember, you CAN do better next time because it's in YOUR power. Mexican food doesn't control you - YOU control you!

Chavonne said...

Sharon, you're so right! Mexican food has always been my downfall! How I love the cheese! Thanks to you and FG for reminding me that I'm in control and to not kick myself over missteps. I'm back in the game!